A collection of funny emails sent to entertain myself while waiting for my wife to get dressed in the morning (she takes forever). Names and emails have been replaced with *****.

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Subject: Reservation - 2010-05-11

From: MM <************>
To: ***************
Sent: May 11, 2010 12:32:16 PM
Subject: Reservations

Hello
I'm interested in making a reservation for Friday night, but I need to make sure it's OK that I bring my friend Nelson.
Nelson has a social disorder. He has a rare disorder in which he spontaneously lunges at people without warning. He will need to be kept in restraints and use only plastic utensils for the entire evening.
I can provide the restraints and apply them myself. I can even provide a special chair. I don't need your staff to do anything different then they would regularly do, except keep their hands away from Nelson's mouth.
With medication Nelson rarely has episodes ( his aunt Kay is the only exception. He still lashes out at her, but that's due to deep rooted feeling between them stemming from a yahtzee incident in 1986). However, the truth is that while under medication he is barely conscience, he's constipated and often drools. Thus, we're trying to ween him off the medication and socialize him. Bringing him out for dinner is a part of this process. Lately he's really been blossoming without the medication. Just recently he completed a successful hunting expedition. He hunted deer with only his bare hands. But no other humans were present. This will be his first such outing with other human. If this goes successful, we'll free his legs and
allowing him to go dancing in a straight jacket (he loves hungairian folk dancing).
Thanks for your support.